Resisting Temptation Read online

  Resisting Temptation

  Men Of Honor Series

  K.C. LYNN

  Resisting Temptation

  Copyright © 2014 K.C. LYNN

  eBook Edition

  Published by: K.C. LYNN

  All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portions thereof, in any form without written permission except for use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales, is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my sweet Cupcakes: Megg, Alissa, Lauren, Sierra, Kim, Nancy, Tonya, Aimee and Margie (aka Cade’s girl). Thank you so much, ladies, for the overwhelming support you are constantly showing me. For pimping me like crazy, for always having my back and always taking care of me. You girls mean so much to me. You are more than readers to me, you are my friends, and one of the best things to happen to me in this Indy world. I love you all so much. XO!

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Song Citations

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Epilogue

  Dear Reader

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Song Citations

  Withers, Bill. “Lean On Me.” Still Bill. Sussex, 1972.

  Cohen, Leonard. “Hallelujah.” Various Positions. Colombia, 1984.

  Petty, Tom, and Jeff Layne. “Free Fallin.” Full Moon Fever. MCA Records, 1989

  Bacharach, Burt, and Hal David. “Wishin and Hopin.” Presenting Dionne Warwick. Scepter Records. 1963.

  PROLOGUE

  Cade

  I’m lying in bed with my head clouded from alcohol, and my body still jacked with adrenaline from the fight I got into earlier tonight. That’s the last time I’m going to let Sawyer drag me to a fucking preppy jock party. I told him this would happen, but the guy is always in the mood to party, and for some reason he doesn’t feel he can do that without me.

  I clench and unclench my hand, my tender knuckles aching from busting them open on Clay Rogers’ face. That asshole is lucky all he got was a broken nose and a busted mouth. Maybe next time he will think twice about opening his fucking trap about my family. Doesn’t he think I know my dad was an abusive alcoholic and that my mom is a pathetic junkie? I was at the receiving end of my old man’s fists almost daily. He did not need to fucking remind me.

  I hate when people bring up my father, because then I’m reminded of who I am and where I come from. Sometimes when I’m out with Evans I let myself forget, or at least pretend to be someone different, someone I’m not. But then, on nights like tonight, I get a fucking wake-up call. Not only reminding me of who I come from, but that I also have the same darkness inside of me that he did. There are times I can feel it fester in me, waiting to be unleashed, always there but never surfacing. I bury it deep; hoping one day it will eventually go away if I ignore it long enough.

  The last thing I ever want is to become like him, or hell, even my mother for that matter. No, not Mother… Maria. She doesn’t deserve to be called Mom. There are times when I think she’s worse than my old man. He would fucking beat me so bad, to the point of being bed-ridden for days from it, and she never gave a shit. She was never strong enough to stand up to him.

  One of the best things that ever happened to me was when my asshole father drank himself stupid one night and wrapped his truck around a tree. I thought she would straighten out after that, and start being the mother she was always supposed to be, but nope. Up until recently, she rarely worked since she was always too busy latching herself to whatever fucking loser would provide her with her next fix.

  “Cade?”

  The sweet, small voice breaks me from my pathetic thoughts and has me glancing at the clock to see it’s one am. I swing my gaze over to the door and make out the tiny figure in the dark. Mia. The only good thing that ever came from my fucked-up parents and the only reason I’m still in this hellhole. If it weren’t for my little sister I would have left here long ago.

  “Hey, squirt. What are you still doing awake?”

  “I can’t sleep. Can I sleep with you again?” She’s already moving toward me before she even finishes the question, knowing I won’t say no. I’d never say no to her for anything.

  This is the fourth night in two weeks that she’s slept with me. Normally I don’t even hear her come in; I just wake up with her plastered against my chest or back. It’s obvious something is bothering her.

  I move over as she crawls her tiny body up beside my big one. For a fifteen-year-old I’m bigger than most kids my age; it’s the only thing I’m grateful that I inherited from my old man. Mia is the complete opposite of me. For a seven-year-old she is smaller than most. She’s also sweet, innocent and untainted. There isn’t an ounce of darkness in her.

  Guilt begins to plague me, for not being able to do more to get us both the fuck out of here and away from Maria. She says things are going to be better because of this new guy she’s seeing, the one who’s going to help her get on a new path… God’s path.

  Yeah right, the guy is a fucking kook, and Maria is even crazier if she thinks we are going to live anywhere with him. I overheard him trying to convince her to have us come live out at his place, which is in some compound that’s way out in the fucking boonies. I went and looked it up as soon as I heard them talking about it. The place is isolated and seems completely messed-up. I thought the guy was Amish or something, from the way it looked, but Maria said he isn’t. I don’t know what the hell it is; all I know is my sister is not living out there.

  Mia curls in next to me with her stuffed pink rabbit that she carries with her all the time, the one I won for her at the fair two years ago. Glancing down at her, I see the thick, white ribbon tied in her hair that she has worn to bed every night for as long as I can remember. Her soft, innocent, little face is turned up at me, and her chocolate brown eyes are filled with sadness.

  “Talk to me, kid. What’s wrong?”

  She looks down at my chest and shrugs. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

  “You sure that’s it? You have been coming in here a lot lately.”

  She nods in response, and I decide to let it go because I know she would tell me if something was wrong. We are pretty tight.

  Things are quiet for a few minutes and I think she’s fallen asleep until she whispers, “Cade, do you believe in God?”

  What the fuck? The alcohol that was fogging my brai
n moments ago starts to clear. Her question catches me off guard and has me wondering how I should respond. I decide to go with the truth.

  “I don’t know. I really haven’t thought about it much. There are times when I think maybe there is one and times when I think not.” I mean, what kind of God lets my sweet, little sister get stuck in a hellhole like this? It’s one thing to throw me into it, but Mia doesn’t deserve it.

  When she doesn’t say anything, I glance back down to see her still staring at my chest. “Why are you asking?” I have a fucking feeling I know why.

  “Mr. Charles says he’s special and that God speaks to him. He said we must follow God’s orders or we don’t get to go to heaven.”

  See, I knew it. A crazy, fucking head case. “He’s full of shit, Mia, okay? The guy is a nut job.” Something I should have known, since Maria is shacked up with him.

  “Mom’s making me go to church out there tomorrow morning. Will you come with me?” I blow out a heavy breath and think of a way to let her down gently. Before I can say anything, she speaks again. “Please, Cade. I- I really don’t like him very much.”

  Something in her small voice has me tensing. “Mia? Is something wrong? Did that guy say or do something to make you upset?” For his sake he better not have, or I will fuck him up beyond repair.

  It takes her a minute to answer. “No. Like I said, I just don’t like him, and Mom is making me go to church there tomorrow by myself, since she has to work. I don’t want to go by myself.”

  I think it’s time I have a chat with Maria about having Mia go anywhere with her crazy-ass hook ups. I look down at my sister’s wide, hopeful eyes and let out a resigned breath. “Yeah, Mia, I’ll come.”

  And I’m going to have a little talk with fucking crazy about all the shit he’s been spewing to my sister. I’ll also be notifying him that we will never be a part of his messed-up life. Ours is screwed up enough.

  “Thanks, Cade. I knew I could count on you.” She throws her tiny arm around my waist and buries her head in my bare chest. Another minute passes before she says, “Do you think I’m a good enough girl to go to heaven when I die?”

  The doubt in her voice has my chest pulling tight. Jesus, that guy is going to get a serious beating from me. Turning on my side, I wrap my arm around my sister and pull her in close. “Yeah, Mia, if there’s one thing I’m sure about, if anyone gets to go to heaven, it’s you.”

  She snuggles even deeper into me. “I love you, Cade.”

  “I love you too, kid. Don’t worry about tomorrow. I’ll be there and everything will be fine.”

  She nods against my chest. Her small warmth and the alcohol that I had earlier tonight has my body starting to go lax and sleep tugging at me. Just before I slip into a deep slumber I was sure I heard her whisper, “I’m sorry, Cade.”

  *

  The next morning I wake up with a dry, nasty taste in my mouth and a serious pounding behind my eyes. Groaning, I begin to turn over but stop when I remember Mia was next to me last night. Opening my eyes, I see the bed empty beside me. I glance at the clock that reads ten am. Shit! Shooting up, panic starts to flood me before I hear movement in the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief and my heart rate slows to normal again. Maybe Maria isn’t making her go after all.

  Heading into the kitchen, I see my mother dressed for work and looking worse than I feel. Clearly she hit something hard last night. If my mother wasn’t a junkie she would be beautiful. I’ve seen pictures of her when she first got together with my father. She was a young, beautiful, Mexican girl with the same innocent, chocolate brown eyes as my sister. But after years of drug abuse and many screwed-up relationships, she looks worn, and much older than her thirty-five years.

  “Where’s Mia?”

  She ignores my question and dumps the contents of her purse all over the counter until she finds what she’s looking for. Grabbing a bottle, she shakes out some aspirin and throws a bunch into her mouth before taking a drink of water.

  “I said: where the fuck is Mia?”

  She winces then turns and glares at me. “Stop shouting. Charles picked her up about an hour ago, to take her to church with him back at the compound.”

  My earlier panic comes flooding back. “I told her I would go with her. What the hell are you thinking, letting that fucking psycho take her anywhere?”

  “Oh, Cade, stop it. She has been alone with him before. She will be fine.” This is the first time I’ve heard of that. “Besides, he didn’t want you to bring her. He doesn’t think you would fit in there.”

  “That’s because the guy is a fucking lunatic. Christ! She begged me to go with her, told me that she hated him.”

  Please, Cade. I don’t want to be there by myself, I really don’t like him very much… Her words replay back in my head, and my gut clenches when I think about how scared her voice sounded.

  Suddenly, I’m plagued with the feeling that something is very wrong. Bolting into my room I throw on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, then quickly grab the sheet of paper that I wrote down the address on, before charging back into the kitchen. I stick my hand out to Maria. “Give me the keys to your car, now!”

  “What? No, I have to go to work soon. And watch your tone when you’re talking to me. Charles is right; I should send you to a boot camp. You have no respect for me.”

  The darkness I feel sometimes starts to fester inside of me again, mixing in with dread and hysteria. I back her into the counter, and she must notice the shift in me because her eyes widen with fear.

  “You don’t want to fuck with me right now, Maria. Give me the keys to your car.” She swallows nervously, but doesn’t make any move to hand them over. I sense my time is running out and my patience snaps. “NOW!” I slam my fist down beside her, making her jump.

  She tosses the keys at me. “She is fine, Cade, you will see.”

  “She fucking better be. Because if she’s not, he won’t be the only one to pay.”

  “If you think anyone in that compound is going to let you in, when you look like you’re about to commit murder, you better think again. He runs that place and everyone is very loyal to him.”

  Good to know. Walking away, I head into her room and ransack her closet until I find the gun my old man kept there. The one he used to pretend was loaded while he held it to my head and pulled the trigger, as some part of a sick game.

  Racing out of the house, I hop in my mom’s beat-up, piece of shit car and haul ass. Not caring if the cops stop me, almost wishing they would, because then we would get to her faster. Even though I’m not old enough to have my license, I have been driving since I was twelve years old. Mainly for when we needed food and Maria was in no shape to go get us any.

  My anxiety spikes harder and faster the closer I get. Shit… I need to calm down. She has to be okay; she would have told me if something was going on, right?

  Fifteen minutes later, half the time it should have taken me, I arrive at the compound. I spot a bunch of vehicles in the distance, trailing behind each other in a long line as they leave the entry of a big, black gate. Noticing it’s about to close, I speed up and make it in just before it does.

  As I drive through, I spot the church down the street, on the right hand side. I briefly register the wooden made houses, and a couple women who are dressed like they’re from Little House on the fucking Prairie standing outside. They stare at me like the outsider I am. Parking in front of the church, I slip my phone in my pocket and grab the gun. I keep it low beside me as I get out of the car.

  “You can’t be here, you must leave,” a young female voice says.

  Turning, I rear back in shock when I see a chick who looks to be about my age, with a giant, fucking pregnant stomach. What. The. Fuck. I quickly realize this place is even more fucked-up than I thought. My stomach twists and my hysteria rises.

  “I’m here for my sister, and I want her now.”

  It’s obvious she knows who I’m talking about. When she doesn’t answer I rais
e my gun at her. Fear sparks in her eyes but I feel no sympathy, all I care about is getting my sister out of this screwed-up place.

  “I’m not leaving here without her. So you better tell me where she is, or I will fucking shoot you where you stand.” I’m hoping she takes my threat seriously, because the truth of the matter is, if it comes down to this chick’s life or my sister’s, it will be my sister’s.

  “Just tell him, Helga.” Another girl, that looks even younger, saddles up next to her, and is shaking like a leaf.

  “You cannot change what is God’s will. God spoke to Charles about your sister, she is where she needs to be.”

  Her words have my panic escalating. Flicking the safety off, I shoot the ground right next to the crazy bitch’s feet. Both girls scream and jump back. “Fuck you and fuck your god. Tell me where my sister is right fucking now!” My arm begins to shake from desperation, and fear, like I have never felt, seizes my chest.

  “She’s in the back of the church, in his sacred room. Third door to the right,” the younger one finally replies.

  Without a second thought, I race up the steps of the church. Another girl runs through the door ahead of me and I haul ass to try to catch up to her.

  “Father Charles, there’s trouble!” she yells, pounding on the door.

  I push her out of the way as soon as I reach her and attempt to open the door, but it’s locked. “Mia!” I shout, “Are you in there?”

  Putting my ear up to the door, I hear muffled curses and shuffling. Then I hear something that has my chest constricting with despair: small, quiet sobs. My sister’s.

  Backing up, I kick the fucking door open. The sight that I’m met with has bile rising in my throat and my heart pounding in my ears. I blink a few times, thinking what I’m seeing isn’t real… it can’t be real.

  My sister is tied to a fucking bed and is wearing a white dress that’s hiked up to her hips, baring her most private part. Two men hold towels that are soaked with her blood. Fear is written all over their faces as they stare at me and my gun.